


Trouble, Get Your Fresh Trouble Here!

by Moonscout11



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Bara Sans (Undertale), Big monsters, Blood and Gore, Chubby Reader, Drug Use, Ecto-Penis (Undertale), Ecto-Tongue (Undertale), Explicit Language, F/F, F/M, Female Reader, Horrortale Papyrus (Undertale), Horrortale Sans (Undertale), Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Multi, Reader Is Not Chara (Undertale), Reader Is Not Frisk (Undertale), References to Drugs, Size Kink, Smol Reader, Smut, Swapfell Papyrus (Undertale), Swapfell Sans (Undertale), Underfell Papyrus (Undertale), Underfell Sans (Undertale), Underswap Papyrus (Undertale), Underswap Sans (Undertale), definitely some kink in there, sinners everywhere i swear, this is going to get pretty violent, we're dealing with fae what do you expect, will add more when i think of them
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:26:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22865533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonscout11/pseuds/Moonscout11
Summary: You had dealt with many things in your life. Fae, Supes, the Paranormal. Should be normal and easy for you, right? Wrong. When tragedy struck the Monster part of the city, there wasn't much else that could be done other than relocation. Guess who got the honor of being a host to some skeleton monsters? It wasn't Karen down the road, that's for sure. What do you get when you try to mix a human trying to keep secrets, and a bunch of suspicious skeleton monsters with mixed feelings? Trouble.
Relationships: Papyrus (Undertale)/Reader, Reader/Everyone, Sans (Undertale)/Reader
Comments: 43
Kudos: 364





	1. Surprise!

You scanned over the letter once more, twice more...Honestly, you had read this damned thing multiple times and still couldn’t seem to believe it. Brows furrowing, you would take a moment to glance up at the rather peppy messenger standing before you- Why were they so peppy this early in the morning? Hell, you could barely crack a smile 2 hours after waking up, let alone 20 minutes. No no, it wasn’t their fault you were a crabby-ass in the mornings....and in the afternoons, and evenings.

You were starting to see a pattern there, actually; Whether that was a good pattern or a bad one, you weren’t too sure. What you were sure of, however, is how this letter was absolutely _BONKERS_ ,  
  
  
“Let me get this straight. Ya’ll want me to board....Monsters, for an undetermined about of time.” You restated slowly, brows raised by the end of the sentence, “And these monsters may or may not be volatile at times, might destroy my _HOME_ ...and ya’ll are expecting me to just welcome them in with no argument or protest, and no compensation.”  
  
  
The peppy messenger, whom you could tell was definitely not human despite their glamour, grinned widely with a nod, adjusting the messenger bag across their chest,  
  
“Yes Ma’am~!” They had to be a sprite of some sorts, maybe a pixie? “No doubt it won’t be just us asking for your assistance, we just thought we would get to you first~!” Definitely not an elf, they weren’t passively insulting you, “The humans will more than likely be asking you soon as well—the ones with the deeper pockets than most. THEY might be willing to compensate you coin for your time~!” Maybe you could throw something at them, something made of Iron.  
  
  
A low sigh would escape you as you leaned back in your seat, noting with satisfaction how the messenger’s grin slacked a little from the creak of your chair. _That’s what you get for being so damned peppy in the morning._ Drumming your fingers along the plastic arm, you took that moment to think. You had nothing against the Monsters themselves, and it wasn’t as though they were hiding like most the creatures you dealt with were. They had been out what....5 years now? 6? You couldn’t remember, you weren’t as affected with their surfacing as most had been. Hell, what had been a first for most was just an average day for you. You were no stranger to Magic, no stranger to the paranormal or the mystical; The monsters emerging just added another thing you had to keep an eye on for your ever-growing list.  
  
  
Another withering sigh, and you would run your hand down your face slowly, leaning on your elbow. It wasn’t as if you actually had a choice in this matter, despite your weak protests. Your family had been in ties with the supernatural for as long as you could remember; You were allies, helpers....and sometimes executioners, if needed. You had deals with the Courts, treaties with packs; That’s what it meant to be a Mediator, a neutral party. As long as the balance remained and neither species messed with each other too much, your job was done. As a Mediator, it was your job to make sure parties involved played nice with each other, and that included taking on the.... favors, they ask of you.  
  
  
Of course, as the messenger said, no doubt the human officials would be coming by soon to ask the same thing—You had no reason to doubt the messenger’s words in that regard. If not for them not being able to tell an untruth, but for the fact that your property held acres upon acres of mostly uninhabited forests. Where else would humans want to keep monsters than out of the cities? You lived by yourself, had the land and the space, and you were more or less one of those types that lent out a helping hand when it came to public matters. You didn’t have an official title, but the city officials still came to you for help or advice. You blamed your damned father for that one, sticking his nose in everyone’s business and his fingers in every damned pie he could. Where did that leave you? By yourself in a large home dealing with supernaturals breathing down your neck and humans trying to butter up your front. Thanks dad.  
  
  
Of course, it wasn’t the Monster’s faults either. Humans were notoriously bigoted, even to their own kind; When the monster’s little piece of the city got mysteriously blown up, the government practically tripped over themselves trying to clean up the mess, both figuratively and literally. It didn’t look good on any public figure when the area you had promised to mostly peaceful beings ended up taking the brunt of what was described as a terrorist attack; Most were afraid the monsters would retaliate; others were glad it happened. Despite the thoughts, conspiracies and theories floating around, there was no doubt it was a big event, and a big tragedy to those involved. So, now the government was scrambling to place the Monsters somewhere while they cleaned up and investigated as to what happened, or who happened. That distinction was mighty important in your line of work.  
  
  
Again, you had nothing against the monsters yourself, the ones you had met had been downright kind and hospitable. You just weren’t sure you had the patience needed to host anyone; You were alone for a reason. You enjoyed your privacy, enjoyed being the little bundle of introverted blanket dwelling creature you were. Having guests, possibly traumatized guests on top of the work you had to do with other supes?  
  
  
“Oh, Ma’am, I think I see them now~!” The messenger trilled, having wandered over to the windows during your inner monologue—Had you been monologuing again? Shit, yes. You would turn in your cheap plastic computer chair, following their line of sight only for your breath to get caught in your throat,  
  
  
“What-- You said it would be the humans coming you piece of--!!” _No_ , no no no, this wasn’t right, this wasn’t how it was supposed to happen, not this quick! The messenger, little fucker, seemed to perk up at your expression of mild horror,  
  
  
“I did, yes, but it seems like they brought friends with them~!” Out the window of your third story room, you could hardly believe your eyes when you spotted not only a round, portly older man, a thin twig of a balding man... And two rather _large_ skeletons following behind.  
  
  
**_Fuck._**


	2. Shit Fire and Save the Matches

Sans could do many things; From napping, drinking ketchup, doing dozens, possibly hundreds of odd little jobs, effectively avoiding picking up his socks, cheering his brother on. You name it, he’s probably done it.

  
  
Yet, the skeleton found himself in an area that he wasn’t really an expert at. 

  
  
The attack on the monster city left them all in a pretty tight situation. Families were grieving for those they had  lost, others were still trying to find some semblance of hope that their loved ones were still around somewhere amongst the wreckage. Despite the magic at their disposal, cleanup was going at a snail’s pace at best. It made cleanup all the harder when piles of dust were discovered nearly each and every day. The monsters had suffered a big hit, and yet there was still nothing to show for just who had been behind this attack. None of the usual hate groups were boasting about this- which, to an extent, if anyone WERE to admit to this it would be pretty stupid on their end. They could boast about the hate all they wanted, protest to the monsters ‘Tainting their air’ and how they should have remained underground all they wanted...but when push came to shove, and when it was time to use those so-called fangs they had, they were suddenly mute.

  
  
Sure, there had been a few  brave , albeit moronic individuals who publicly attacked the monsters, but they quickly found themselves sporting a fancy pair of metal bracelets, and relocating to a new watchful environment. 

  
  
So it was no wonder when no one stepped up to the plate next to claim this little stunt, and it made it all the more frustrating to those involved. Not just the monsters who suffered such a loss, but the humans who supported them...even the government officials. As deep as their pockets were, money only went so far when it came to public view; A bunch of peaceful magical creatures getting all but wiped out was NOT a good image for the polls. 

  
  
Where did this leave our  punny skeleton and his exuberant brother?

  
  
Relocated out to the middle of the woods, on the outskirts of  Ebott City where the public eye didn’t dare venture into. If not for the weird rumors surrounding the forest and therein around it, but for the fact that it just wasn’t worth the effort to travel so out of the way. Sans personally didn’t want to leave—he would much rather stay near the kid and the royals, help out and Hunt—locate, whoever had done this. Unfortunately, with his tendency to fall asleep just about anywhere, the human volunteers on cleanup duty did NOT appreciate suddenly finding a skeleton amongst the rubble. 

  
  
Humans were weird like that, he supposed. Tensions and nerves were high, so he guessed it made sense humans wouldn’t want to see their literal insides walking around in the middle of such a mess...something about a morbid irony, as the kid described. It wasn’t just the fact they scared the volunteers out of their skin- **_heh_** \- that they were asked to leave with the officials to begin the relocate process; The kid and Queen had asked them to leave. He knew it was nothing against them or their....cousins, the humans were just a sensitive lot. Besides that, not that he would admit it, he didn’t want to see his brother anymore torn up than he had been. As cool and strong as Papyrus was, he didn’t have the soul to see such gruesome sights. Hell, he could _feel_ just what his brother went through each time they discovered a new dust pile, see the way his bones rattled and those eye lights dim.

  
  
No. Papyrus didn’t need to go through that, not any more than he had already. While he himself was used to it, used to seeing dust, blood and squishy human bits strewn about the place due to the resets, Papyrus hadn’t had a single memory of them. If Sans could help it, he would keep his brother from seeing hell like that at any cost. If that cost was moving out to the middle of nowhere and staying out of the way, then so be it. 

  
  
He and Papyrus were the first to go scope out the place with the humans; It wouldn’t do well to startle their Host with all of them at once. The humans said it would be fine, this was definitely a good place for them, he wasn’t entirely positive they would be good for the place. The large skeleton sighed softly, pushing his hands deeper into his pockets as he shuffled along behind the smaller humans, lidded sockets keeping an eye around them. 

  
  
Monsters were a large variety, even the shortest monster towering over humans a  good few feet ; Ever see a human get freaked out by a giant carrot wanting to be eaten? It was almost a gut buster—if he had a gut, anyway. He himself was on the smaller side when compared to monsters, though what he lacked in height, he made up in girth. What could he say? He was big boned. It wouldn’t be fair to compare himself to the human officials walking before them. From what he saw, they weren’t exactly the tallest amongst their kind either. Hell, the round portly man barely reached the bottom of San’s chest, the taller humans reaching _maybe_ the middle of his chest.

  
  
It was amazing how such small and fragile things could be so _da_ _ngerous_.

  
  
Then again, some of his ‘cousins’ weren’t exactly innocent either, hence why they remained on the edges of the monster city. THAT was another thing he had to clean up, but it would have to wait. First things first, he had to make sure this place could accommodate them and their...habits. 

  
  
Passing through the large Iron gates—that was surprising. Most of the places he had observed in the city used either stone or a mixed metal, but from what he could tell, these were pure Iron. Huh. Looking around, the fence was Iron as well, save for some sections that were divided along the length of it. This place in general was...odd-- not for its design purposes, though he had to admit, he found himself questioning the circles of flowers in the yard, or the way some groups of pebbles made shapes. The air here was strange. He had noticed it when they reached the property line; It was THICK for some reason, charged with energy and strangely enough, magic. Sure, his old bones appreciated the saturation of magic that seemed to ease his joints...but it also made him suspicious. Why was there so much magic in this area, but not the city? Hell, the city had been all but empty of magic when they arrived. It was getting better the longer monsters stuck around, their own natural magic coating and saturating the air; but it had nothing on this place, that seemed to hold that energy like a sponge. Based on the strength of it, he would guess this magic had been here for a _while_.

  
  
Sans was pulled from his thoughts when he heard an audible “Gasp” from his brother; Another thing he had to keep an eye on. Normally his brother would have been yapping away to the officials on the way here, or complimenting the new area around them. Instead, he had been...silent, instead seeming a little distracted. Whether that was from the air of this place, having to move, or the tragedy, Sans wasn’t sure. He was sure, however, that he was relieved to see his brother somewhat back to his old self as he began gushing about the manor before them,

  
  
“BROTHER, LOOK! THIS IS ALMOST AS BIG AS THE EMBASSY! WOWEE!! HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU THINK LIVE HERE? I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE INSIDE, IT LOOKS SO. ..SO. ..” Papyrus struggled with the word to describe the place. What must have once been a grand manor looked.... well, tired. Vines and ivy grew along the walls, the paint was chipping and weeds galore sprang about every nook and cranny they could find along the side of the building, as well as the cobblestone paths leading this way and that. Were those boards over some windows? 

  
  
…...Was that a skunk chilling out on the porch swing?

  
  
“.... _UNIQUE_. LOOK AT ALL THE PLANTS, AND WILDLIFE! EVEN THE HOUSE LOOKS ALIVE WITH DIFFERENT COLORS!”

  
  
“..heh, yeah. that paint seems to be just chipping away in excitement  cuz it’s so grand.” Did someone actually LIVE here? Sure, the underground had its hard times and some things were run down, especially at the others’ timelines, but... how did this get so bad if someone supposedly stayed here?

  
  
The scrawny twig of a human would clear his throat, adjusting his bifocals as he slowed the  closer they got to the porch,

  
  
“Rest assured, gentlemen, this place isn’t abandoned! One of our biggest benefactors owned this place, and now his daughter owns it. She’s been a big part of our community, and a large help with our affairs. On such short notice, and with how many there are between you and your cousins, this is the most suitable place we could find! Don’t let its appearance deceive you, this place has been standing for decades, and I’ve no doubt it will continue to do so for decades more. There are more surprises that meets the eye!”

  
  
The portly man would nod, pulling out a stained yellow handkerchief and wiping his sweaty brow, letting out a huff of a chuckle before he grunted, climbing up the few stairs up the porch, ignoring how the floorboards creaked under his weight,

  
  
“Sweet gal, this one is. Takes a bit to get used to how she thinks, but she means the best, I’m sure--” He paused when a dull thump could be heard on the porch beside them. Eyes and eye lights alike would be drawn over to the thick round ball of black and white fluff straightening itself out. Apparently, it had fallen off the swing in its sleep—Sans knew that pain all too well, and found himself relating to the strange creature....

  
  
Until it charged at them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit! Honestly, when I first posted this story I wasn't expecting to hardly get any reviews or anything from it. Not to toot my own horn or anything-- but I suck at stories. I'm surprised ya'll seemed to have enjoyed that short chapter so much; Thank you so very much!! It's given me the inspiration I needed to continue this story, and it's helped to boost my confidence to keep at it. Thank you to those who left the comments, and all the Kudos! I'm only sorry I can't update more often, but I'll try my best, especially with the support I've gotten from you all~! <3


	3. Not a Chapter ( Delete Later )

Hey all, not a chapter sorry ( I know the disappointment feeling, sorry! ) 

So I've not even written the next chapter yet, not gunna lie. It's been super busy with work lately, and with the Corona Virus going around and my city basically shut down, there have just been things I've gotta do before I can sit and write.

I hope you all are safe, wash your hands and dont be licking doorknobs. We'll all get through this, no worries! If anything it's the panic that's the worse part right now, but itll blow over. Until then, just be smart about things.

I'll try and update as soon as I can, I just dont want to promise a date when I'm not even sure when I'll be able to sit and write.

Until then, thank you all so much for being patient!


	4. Ey Darkness, wassup?

Ok, you could do this. You could totally help out that balding moron of a Mayor and his lackey with this.... problem. Well, it wasn’t really a problem, per se, more so an inconvenience you weren’t expecting, but could totally handle! It wasn’t as if you hadn’t had actual guests in years- and no, you weren’t counting the Fae and other beings coming by to bug you as guests. Well, maybe there were one or two beings that weren’t so bad, but that was beside the point! You hadn’t had any guests that stayed with you for an extended period of time in years. Your house, to say the least, was in shambles. You ordered out most of the time because fuck trying to cook when you were this busy; Who had the time to go grocery shopping anymore, anyway? Who had the time to do repairs or keep up with cleaning, or trying to get your pesky rodent roommates to move out?   
  
  
  
_You were getting off track._   
  
  
  
Guests, right. Non-human guests weren’t really the problem, you preferred dealing with the Supes and Fae anyway rather than humans- they were more predictable, in your opinion. It was here you realized you’d take a Fae at its word better than a human, and a part of you found that a little...sad. Said part was currently being shoved down by the fact that you had had more bad experiences with humans than other creatures. You didn’t count the whole trying to kill you thing- that was just the nature of things. Plenty of humans had tried to kill you, too, and their reasons were just plain stupid! At least the creature’s reasons went along the lines of territory, or defending themselves or--   
  
  
  
_You were doing it again. Fuck._  
  
  
  
Was this Anxiety? More than fucking likely. You were normally focused and to the point, small stuff like this didn’t bother you! Hell, you had spat in Oberon’s face of all things and coped better! That was a stupid idea, a very stupid idea, you had to admit. Actually, you were damned lucky he had found it amusing, and a little kinky. You were still debating the lucky part, now that you thought about it; Having one of the High Kings try and woo your affections all because you figuratively showed him guts tended to get in the way of your more important duties, like trying not to get fucking killed, or doing bound favors to the Supernaturals of this world--   
  
  
_…. FUCK._   
  
  
  
You would look around your worn-down office, noting the wallpaper peeling, the water logged shelves filled with old dusty tomes that hadn’t seen the light of day in probably centuries. You looked towards the moth-eaten curtains and sneered; No, you didn’t have the time for this upkeep, and you didn’t have the motivation to take care of such a large place by yourself. You had PePe with you sure, but there was only so much a skunk could do in terms of cleaning. She did do a good job in making sure your place wasn’t overrun with insects, though, so you could appreciate that. Pest control and some companionship that didn’t involve deals or killing or flirting? You were down with that. Hell, all you really had to pay her was some Peanut Butter once in a while, and you two were golden! You were starting to get a little worried about her weight, though—the creature was literally a fucking basketball with legs at this point. Granted, most of it was her thick fur, but you doubted the smorgasbord of bugs and occasional peanut butter treat helped matters. She slept all day and ran around all night, much like you did most of the time. In your defense, most of the creatures you were bound to help were nocturnal, especially the vampires or the Night Courts.   
  
  
  
Did you have a meeting with any of them tonight? You’d have to double check, but you were sure you didn’t; You tended to make Sundays your day off. You weren’t religious by any means, you’d seen too many things for that, but because of how much you had seen, you weren’t foolish enough to believe there wasn’t anything behind the fates or anything like that. You just wanted a day off for the fuck of it, so sue you. There was definitely something in this big grand cosmos, you’d seen it one time or another...you just didn’t worship it. Hell, one of the guests you actually liked had ties with the great beyond, and if they weren’t proof enough then nothing would be. You briefly wondered how they were doing; it had been a good minute since they came by to raid your sugar pantry. They weren’t human, monster, Fae or even a part of the normal Supes of this world, and you found that...a relief, of sorts. You weren’t bound by them, and they didn’t side with anything, so you could freely just talk to your heart’s content, unload all the shit piled on your shoulders for that week and they would listen.   
  
  
  
Well, Pepe does the same thing, but Pepe can’t talk. For she was a Skunk. If Pepe did start talking to you, you would have more problems than your impending isolation. Speaking of talking, you would pause in your distaste for your curtains—because ultimately, that had been your main focus, obviously, and look around. Fucking hell, the messenger was gone. They must have taken advantage of your wandering thoughts to escape; You weren’t even finished interrogating them! You lean back in your crickity computer chair with a sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. Who the hell were you kidding, it wasn’t an interrogation, and you weren’t getting anywhere with the fae. You were, essentially, demanded a favor from. That wasn’t out of the norm, and you shouldn’t have been surprised that something was going to come up. It had been quiet for too long, and your gut had just been starting to give you a queasy feeling about the silence. Hell, you were still getting that queasy feeling. In your line of work, you made damned sure you listened to your gut, for it hadn’t been wrong before.   
  
  
  
  
Things were fishy, and you didn’t like it one bit. The Fae found joy and exhilaration whenever there was chaos in the human world, and even your introverted self had heard of the terrorist attack in the monster part of the city. With that thought in mind, why did the Fae care about what happened to the monsters? What did they care where the monsters went? Fae didn’t care for matters like that, hell they barely cared about their own problems, let alone something as mundane, in their minds, as a few monsters having a place to stay. They were planning something, or had already done something, and you didn’t like it one bit. Suspicions aside about the attack itself, you felt bad for the monsters; They hadn’t deserved that, no matter what the public opinion was. Imprisoned, trapped for who knows how many centuries, finally getting out only to get backlash, finally getting a few rights, and now this? The humans could say what they wanted, you found it fucking amazing they could keep going forward like this.... You weren’t sure what you would do if you found yourself in their situation. Could you keep going like they had, despite time after time again, something pushed you back down? Could you still hold that hope despite the constant disappointments?   
  
  
  
  
Sure, you had been through some hard times, and been treated as little more than an insect, but your life hadn’t been centered around it. At the end of the day, you could come home knowing you could go anywhere you wanted with not much to stop you. No government wanting to limit your rights- in this country, anyway, no curfews or judgmental suspicions directed at you, no limits on where you could travel or being pegged as a murderer. You had tough times, but you had your human rights, your freedoms. They didn’t.   
  
  
  
Now look at them, basically refugees all over again, and for what? Some bigoted viewpoint of what should and shouldn’t be in the world? Fear is what made people, humans in particular, do stupid shit. The panic, the overthinking, the lack of empathy. You’d love to see the reactions of those same bigots if they were to find out monsters were the least of their problems when it came to what was in this world. That’s what it was, really though; Monsters, as fearsome as some of their appearances, were less of a threat than humans, Supes and Fae alike. Maybe that was why you hadn’t flat out rejected the idea of a few coming to stay here- what could they do? Monsters couldn’t do shit in the grand scheme of things to make your life any worse than what it was. Your life wasn’t terrible, you had a home that was still standing, you had food, water and clothes. Your life wasn’t the ideal life of what you had wanted, but you had what you needed. Dear old Dad had signed you up for this life without your consent, but you were damned well going to make the best of it, no matter what came your way.   
  
  
  
You only wish you had a little more warning than this, though, maybe give yourself time to prepare yourself mentally for what was to come; You’d seen them come up onto your weed infested pathway and walk through your overgrown yard, they were huge fuckers. You had a feeling you were forgetting something as you watched them, staring blankly through the tinted window. They were...interesting, to say the least, you gotta give em that; Not many wanted to see their insides walking around. But then, they weren’t exactly like the human skeleton, either, from what you could tell. You had seen the walking dead, and you had seen a necromancer’s shitty attempt at skeleton soldiers, but these two were completely different from that. They didn’t look like the walking dead in the least bit, and you can’t stay you’ve seen skeletons that large or.... excited, before. One seemed to be chill, the other what usually happened after 6 pots of coffee—Had he stopped to smell the weeds? Huh.   
  
  
  
  
You wondered what Pepe would think of them, and snorted at the thought. That skunk didn’t like strangers, in the least bit! It would be pretty funny to watch how she reacted to them. She thought this place her territory, and if it wasn’t a bird, she would try to defend it. She didn’t spray that much, thank fuck, but that always made people second guess trying to approach her; After all, who would want to risk smelling like rotting flesh for hours on end? Just as you were about to stand to look around for the guard skunk, a shout would quickly alert your attention back outside. Peering out the window, your brows would raise at the sight of the lanky human quickly backing up, turning and nearly tripping over himself to get away from the porch. Actually, the mayor seemed to be trying to back up as well, though he was having less success, and instead fell on his fat ass on the cobblestone instead.   
  
  
_Ah._   
  
  
That was where PePe was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh, thank you all so much for being so patient with me! I had originally wanted to update at least once a week, maybe once every two weeks, but things have been so crazy as of late, that wasn't gunna happen. I was sick, still am sick, but figured I'd get SOMEthing out! I don't know when I'll next update, but ya'll have my never ending gratitude for being so patient!


	5. Honey Catches Flies Better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well then, it's been a long time since the last update, sorry about that! I've been very sick, gotten injured and I've just not had the chance to get back to this. I have no intentions of dropping the fic ( I would let you guys know if I did ) the updates are just gonna be slow at best! Thank you all for being so patient though, and sorry for the short chapter!

The Feeder had too much going on for her comfort. Didn’t she realize all she needed to do was give her food and treats? Apparently not. Honestly, all Feeder had to do was give her food, treats, the occasional head pat, and she would do the rest! This was their territory, yet Feeder always had strangers coming by; Some smelled sweet, some smelled disgusting, all of them didn’t belong. This was their territory, their home! Of course, she couldn’t scare off all of them. She was many things, but she was still but a simple skunk. Against the sweet smelling not-feeders, there wasn’t much she could do. The disgusting smelling not-feeders, though? They liked to avoid her and run away, as it should be! So when the fat- honorable, skunk smelled that disgusting scent again, and heard those heavy footfalls, she had no choice but to wake up. What better way to wake up than to roll?   
  
Of course, she had forgotten she fell asleep on the swing while on patrol. Of course, she woke up quickly when she landed. Of course, the skunk would be mighty disorientated, and annoyed when she was woken up from her sleep; Ugh, it was the fat not-feeder again! Didn’t he learn the last time he came by!?   
  
Hackles raising, the skunk would poof up, her tail sticking straight up in an attempt to make herself look bigger as she mock charged at the round one. Admittedly, she was satisfied when he stumbled backgrounds and landed on his portly ass in an attempt to back away from her. Good, he knew his place! It was then the skunk’s poor eyesight would pick up on two other not-feeders. She would stand guard on the front step, hissing at the group, even giving a little up with her back legs, making the lanky not-feeder jump. Who were these two new ones? They didn’t smell disgusting, but they didn’t smell sweet, either. They were a lot bigger than the disgusting ones, and PePe felt more threatened with them around. What were they there for? Were they going to try to take the territory? She didn’t trust them, or like them. The mammal especially didn’t like the loud noise that came from the tallest being—Was that a warning cry!?   
  
  
“SANS, SANS LOOK AT IT! WHAT _IS_ THAT!? IT’S SO CUTE AND SMALL AND FLUFFY! LOOK, IT’S EVEN DOING A LITTLE DANCE! I DIDN’T KNOW CATS COULD DO THAT!”   
  
Obviously, it was threatening her and her Feeder! Why else would a creature be that loud!? Another hiss, another jump from her back legs and she descended a step.   
  
  
  
  
\--------------------------------   
  
  
  
The Mayor would quickly scramble to stand up, wheezing lightly and wiping over his sweaty forehead once more. Admittedly, he had forgotten such a nasty little creature was around. At least it had charged at them first this time rather than try and spray them; After the last spraying, he had to throw that suit out altogether and get a new one!   
  
He would clear his throat, being careful not to step any closer lest he anger the beast. Why Y/N kept it around was beyond his understanding! Why couldn’t she get a pet dog or something like that? Why a skunk of all things?!   
  
“Ah-- Well, no need to be alarmed! This is...PePe, Y/N’s pet Skunk. No need to worry, gentlemen—it doesn’t carry any diseases,” Or so he had been assured.   
  
Sans...wasn’t sure what he thought about this creature. True, it couldn’t really cause them any harm, but he had heard about skunks. They could spray foul smelling liquid to any that threatened them, and could burrow and chew even through the hardest woods. While he doubted they could chew through bone, he wasn’t about to test that theory anytime soon, or even be the experiment for it,   
  
“looks like it’s throwin’ a _hissy_ fit, huh... I'd be pretty grumpy too if I were woken up from a pretty good nap,” With how loud the large human had been, he didn’t blame it in the least bit. It seemed satisfied with staying on the porch, so that was good for them. Though, was this what they would have to deal with every time they came back from somewhere, or during the move? He certainly hoped not. Then again, it wasn’t a sure thing that they were even going to move in here. Sure, it was large enough and could fit them all with ample space; But ultimately, it was up to Y/N.   
  
As if the thought was a summoning of sorts, the large front door would click before opening with a loud creak. Sans wasn’t sure what he had been expecting when he heard of you, but he hadn’t been expecting a short, delightfully curvy little thing to step out onto the front porch. Much like the state of this place, it didn’t seem as though you bothered dressing up when visitors came over. Of course, his guess could be wrong, and you wore tank tops and shorts everyday all day. Who knew.   
  
You seemed tired, and even gave a sigh as she looked between them, the humans and the round creature. You didn’t stare at him and his brother like some sort of circus act, you didn’t back away and slam the door shut; Hell, you didn’t even give them a double take. Instead, you would direct your attention to PePe. Reaching over by the door side table, you would pick up a plastic package and shake it,   
  
“C’mon PePe, you know better than that. We don’t charge at the Mayor and his.... _People_.” You even sounded tired, if a bit exasperated. Upon hearing that plastic package rattle and shake, the skunk would freeze before quickly whirling around. Long claws clicking on the wooden porch as she quickly waddled her way over, PePe would let out little squeaks, pawing at the ground near your feet, lowering her tail. You seemed to roll your eyes and open the bag, pulling out a small handful of something before tossing it to the side near the swing. With a sudden speed that didn’t seem to fit her size, PePe would all but lunge at the treat, scrambling to catch the falling pieces. Ah, peanuts, from what he could see.   
  
Watching the distracted skunk for a moment, You would close the package before looking back to the four of them, quirking a brow,   
  
“Ya come here to watch her eat, or are you gonna head in? She eats those things faster than flies on shit, so ya better hurry inside.” With that said, you would walk back into the manor, leaving the door open. The mayor would once again clear his throat and quickly make his way to the door, wearily eyeing the feasting skunk. His assistant would follow, and Sans would let out a low sigh, shuffling in after them. Papyrus seemed to want to watch the amusing little creature, he noted; After a nudge from Sans, he too would enter into what would hopefully be their, albeit _temporary_ , home.


	6. Some witty title here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry! It's been a mighty long time since I've last posted. I finally got back to working after months of no work due to Covid-19, and I'm not as sick or in pain so figured I would update. Hope ya'll are staying safe, hang in there!!

“I get the jist of what’s goin’ on here,” You would start off, scratching the back of your head awkwardly. Your hair seemed to be frizzled, though that was by no means your fault; It was a hot and humid summer day, and you couldn’t find the care to really put any specific products in your hair to contain it. It wasn’t as if you went out to public events much anyway, and it wasn’t as though you were trying to impress anyone. Hell, the more people that stayed away from your family home, the better; That just meant there was less likely of a chance of some idiot stumbling into a group of fae. Your property was large, and while there were a specific few of the supernatural that could actually enter the grounds, that didn’t make them any less dangerous. 

Contracts could be manipulated just as easy as fae could bend the truth without lying outright. After all, while they were banned from killing anyone who wasn’t an intruder, that didn’t mean they wouldn’t make the person wish they were dead. You really had to get your hands on that contract and look over it yourself, see if you could edit something within it. Unfortunately, it was being held by a neutral party—and they were VERY particular about the contracts they protected. The magic of the world needed balance, there was light and dark on the same coin, blah blah fucking blah—You got it. Speaking of which, they hadn’t visited in a while... You weren’t sure if that were a good thing or a bad thing. While they were on the more tolerable side of those whom you dealt with on a regular basis as far as the supernatural went, it was never good to not hear from them for a while. Had the incident of the bombing caught their attention? More than likely, that person was always drawn to death and chaos... 

And your sweet cabinet. You should really restock that sometime before their next visit, they whined less when you did. 

“Y-You do? That’s great! That’ll save us a lot of time on the formalities and explanations, then! I knew you were a smart cookie, Y/N, just like your dearly departed father!” 

Right. You had company—LARGE company. Now wasn’t the time to be thinking of what you should be doing, rather than what you will be doing. He could praise you all he wants, but you knew the Mayor better than that; He always disliked coming here, humans often did. You couldn’t blame them. The place was surrounded by thick layers of magic, each stronger than the last the deeper you went onto the property. Humans weren’t exactly magic sensitive like other beings. They could feel it, but as for defining it or pinpointing what it was, they were at a loss. More often than not, the magic in this place made them uncomfortable, like something was... Off. You had no doubt the mayor and his lacky were feeling that, and judging by the way they shifted in your recliners, were no more eager to be here than you were to have them here. 

Duty called, you supposed, and instead of beating about the bush, you just got to the point of things; You preferred to be blunt. Too many years of listening to twisting words made you impatient for the shit, and the sooner you could get to the main point of why they were here, the sooner you could get back to your own work. Like taking a shower, or finishing your nap, or checking on the wards—Literally anything else than what was going on now. It’s not that you disliked the two humans, you were just looking out for their own safety. Monsters around or not, there were creatures who just LOVED messing with public officials. 

You would fold your leg beneath you and plop down in your own recliner, gesturing to a flower printed sofa between the recliners. There was no way in hell the monsters would fit in the recliners, nor would they fit in any other chair you had; You’d like to keep your wooden chairs intact, you actually liked those, 

“Yer welcome to sit, you sure as hell don’t need permission or anything like that to,” You offered with a snort, a small smile gracing your lips. The large blue skeleton chuckled lowly—Oh that was a pleasant sound. Deep and baritone, you didn’t doubt it would vibrate anything near it. He would shuffle over in his pink slippers and grunt, crouching and sitting on the couch carefully. You nearly held your breath when you heard the wood creak beneath him; Seeing as though the old furniture didn’t snap under his weight, you let out a sigh of relief, 

“THANK YOU, SMALL HUMAN, BUT I WILL STAND! I FEEL IT BEST FOR YOUR FURNITURE IF YOU DIDN’T HAVE THE BOTH OF US SITTING ON IT. IT WOULD BREAK.” Jesus fucking christ he was loud, and you couldn’t help the small wince when he spoke up. Ok, Ow. Mental note, be on guard whenever the tall skeleton was around; Not that he seemed like a danger, the opposite really.... You just needed to brace yourself, it wouldn’t do well to have ringing ears anytime you were talking around him, or else you’d end up talking nearly as loud as him. You had a feeling that wasn’t possible, however, and turned your attention back to the humans, 

“Long story short, you need housing for these monsters; With them being as large as they are, ya figured having a large place would be better for em’. Yer other large places are no doubt filled with other...groups,” Not bundles Y/N, be polite, “of monsters. I have one of the biggest properties, and this was the best area you could think of in such short notice. You would greatly appreciate my help in this matter, yada yada.” You listed off on your fingers, your expression flat as you stared at the nervous assistant, followed by the portly mayor who was once more wiping his forehead with a cloth. Why was he sweating so much? You knew it was hot but damn- 

He was nervous. 

You paused, your stare unwavering as you watched for any tell. He was nervous, that’s why he was sweating so much... But why? It was something else, something more that you hadn’t listed off. The magic in this place could cause discomfort and a nervous feeling, but not that damned much. You would notice the way the Mayor caught your stare and couldn’t seem to keep eye contact. Instead he would clear his throat and glance away, shifting and sitting up in his seat. Got him. There was more to it, more than just housing these monsters, 

“Bill.” Ah, he jumped at his name, “It’s not just housing these monsters. What ELSE are you wanting from me?” You noted how the blue monster seemed to be watching the mayor as well, though with that seemingly permanent grin across those large teeth of his, you couldn’t really decipher his expression. You would look at the assistant as he scooted forward, folding his hands on his knees, 

“Well, Ms. L/N, while you’re correct on the main reason we’re here, there are a few more...details, that we’d like to ask of you.” He hesitated, and you found your patience wearing thinner with each second, “It wouldn’t be just these two monsters we’d like to ask for your assistance with. They have cousins as well we’d like your help with, and while normally we couldn’t want to take up too much of your time or space, given how much you’ve already helped us with your generous contributions to our fair city--” 

He would stop when you held up your hand, your brows furrowing as a deep frown marred your face. You didn’t need to be sucked up to, softened or buttered up or any of that shit. The first few times it was a little embarrassing, but now it was like a fucking broken record. Yeah, you got it, you helped the town a lot and your family helped a lot. That was mostly just to keep an eye on them though, stay in the loop. Humans could be more dangerous than any supernatural being you knew when grouped together. It was best to keep a hand in both cookie jars, so to speak, 

“Listen- You know I don’t mind helping out when I can, and I get that this situation can’t be helped, it ain’t like they asked to be targeted like this,” You started carefully, glancing to the listening skeletons—At least, one was. …. Was he SLEEPING?! You had to stop your mouth from hanging open—Wasn't he just awake? Who the hell just fell asleep in some stranger’s house?! Apparently, the blue skeleton did. Looking up at the tall skeleton in confusion, he just merely smiled as if this was a normal thing. You supposed if it was, then just...let it be? You would hesitate before continuing, shaking your head. Nope, question it later, Y/N, you had some answers to get to, 

“I don’t mind housing a couple monsters for a little while until they can get back on their feet or whatever. I just don’t think they would like it here; I haven't gotten the place all that fixed up, the yards are a nightmare that even PePe hesitates on exploring... Two is fine, I got room for two, but I don’t think it would be fair to others to have to sleep in drafty rooms and shit.” You would sigh and leaned back, smoothing your hand over your head because fuck trying to get your fingers through that nest. You weren’t trying to make excuses, but it sure as hell seemed like it, huh? You were just being honest, though! Who the hell wanted to stay in a room with holes in the walls, or ceilings? You had the room sure, but not all of the room was even habitable. It was just you in this place, and with everything going on with Fae and the other supernaturals, you just didn’t have the time or energy to get it fixed up. That wasn’t fair in the least bit to the monsters they wanted to stay here. They’d already been through a lot, they didn’t need this. 

Of course, ...this also might be their only option. The Mayor was an idiot, but he knew not to come by unless it was absolutely needed. If they were coming here, then this was their last hope. Now, you could be an asshole, a tired asshole and you could be blunt and mean when you wanted to be, but you weren’t cruel. Could you really turn the others away when they needed your help, and had nowhere else? As much as you wanted to play big and bad and say you would, you wouldn’t. You knew it, and they knew it, the bastards. 

Running your hand down your face, you would glower at the two humans, narrowing your eyes, 

“.... How many more?” 

The Mayor would choose to speak up this time, giving you a weary smile, 

“..... At least six more.”


	7. Author's Note

Heya!

Thank you all so much for your patience and sticking with me. I've not abandoned this fic or anything like that. I'm just having a hard time personally right now.

I've been sick and I've had to go to the hospital a few times, which has made me miss work, which has made me behind on bills. So I've been trying to do commission work and such ( I draw as well so it's mostly been commission drawings ) but so far it's not really been taking, and I'm at risk of getting kicked out of my place. 

So, I've not abandoned this fic, no worries! I'm just trying to battle sickness on top of not being homeless. I'll get back to this, I promise!

If uh, you're interested in commissions here's the link below; And if you can't afford it that's perfectly fine! Just reblogging or sharing it helps, too!

I love you all and the comments ans everything, thank you so much!!

https://dreamsoflust.tumblr.com/post/629973903970893824/so-hey-finally-made-that-commission-sheet-we-can


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